Cleave to One Another

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” [Gen. 2:24]

Let’s understand the word cleave.  

“The term cleave, as used in Genesis, is derived from the Hebrew dawbak, meaning “cling, adhere, stick, catch by pursuit” or “follow close.” When the Savior speaks of cleaving to one’s wife in Matt. 19:5, the source word of cleave is from the Greek poskallah, meaning “glue or join.” By scriptural definition, then, we find that God expects us to “cling” to our spouse or to “stick” with him or her. But it should also be understood that this is not a one-time event but a condition that lasts throughout a couple’s marriage.” (Richardson, 2005)  Understand we need to continually cleave to our spouse during our marriage.  This means to stick with them, or join them, not to belittle or look down upon.

“Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22). This is the only place in scripture where the Lord asks us to love anything or anyone with all our hearts besides Himself. This scripture augments our understanding of cleaving. It is apparent that cleaving is empowered by genuine love. (Richardson, 2005)  It is interesting that we are asked to love someone with all our hearts, and not just the Lord God.  This shows how important our spouses should be to us. 

President Hinckley said, “As a husband, he would live with respect for his wife, standing side by side with her, never belittling her nor demeaning her, but rather encouraging her in the continued development of her talents and in the church activities which are available to her. He would regard her as the greatest treasure of his life, one with whom he can share his concerns, his innermost thoughts, his ambitions and hopes. There would never be in that home any “unrighteous dominion” of husband over wife (see D&C 121:37, 39), no assertion of superiority, no assertion of authority, but rather an expression in living which says that these two are equally yoked”. (Hinckley, 1985)

“President Kimball taught, “it allows for no sharing nor dividing nor depriving.” ⁹  Obviously, if our whole heart is “joined” or “glued” to our spouse, we cannot share our treasured feelings with another.” (Richardson, 2005)  The idea of sharing your treasured feeling with only your spouse is wonderful.  If we are to be close, or joined together, it would make sense that this is the person we share all our secrets and emotional feelings with.

“The words none else eliminate everyone and everything. The spouse then becomes pre-eminent in the life of the husband or wife and neither social life nor occupational life nor political life nor any other interest nor person nor thing shall ever take precedence over the companion spouse.” ^{(Kimball, 1969, p. 250)}  Realizing that nothing can take priority over the spouse is an interesting concept.  Often work, children or home life can interrupt and take away from our time with our spouse.  Taking the necessary time together to build and continue our relationships no matter what social, work, other interests or hobbies can be difficult but worth it. 

“While some may feel this perspective is excessive, unrealistic, or doesn’t really apply to their type of relationship, the point is, it does apply to the form of marriage ordained by God. Cleaving is about making choices that reflect our priorities. Without appropriately leaving and appropriately cleaving, a couple can never expect to fully become one.” (Richardson, 2005)  The ultimate goal is exaltation.  If we want to have the type of marriage ordained by God we need to put out the work.  We need to work hard together to cleave to one another to allow us the opportunity to have the type of relationship that is essential for us to enjoy the eternities together.

References

Hinckley, G. B. (1985, May). To Please our Heaavenly Father. Ensign.

Kimball, S. W. (1969). The Miracle of Forgiveness. Salt Lake City: Bookcraft Inc.

Richardson, M. O. (2005, April). Three Principles of Marriage. Engisn.